


These Ghosts In My Head, Won't Leave Me Alone

by eversinceniall



Category: Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Break Up, Depression, Fake/Pretend Relationship, High School, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Self-Harm, Unrequited Love, errrrmmm, kellic - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-03-15 08:15:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3439994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eversinceniall/pseuds/eversinceniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vic reveals that their whole relationship was just a joke to him, and Kellin falls apart in the worst way possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably edit this later, but for now, here you go.

"Aww, don't cry. I'm sorry. Bye bye." Vic says sarcastically , lingering in the doorway.

 

You're not my Vic. My Vic isn't cruel like this.

 

I stand there, in the middle of my bedroom. I don't say anything. I can't. I open my mouth to speak, but my lips can't- no, won't- form the words and all that comes out is a pathetic whimper.

 

Vic gives me a nod, a single fucking nod, and a devilish smirk before he turns around and walks out the door without giving me a second glance. I hear the sound of his shoes against wooden floorboards and the slam of the front door as he leaves.

 

My eyes wander around the room, my mind not seeming to register the reality that Vic is gone. My eyes land on a picture taped to the wall beside my bed. It's a picture of Vic and I.

 

I force myself to drag my gaze away, and unintentionally look back to the doorway where Vic was standing just moments ago.

 

I'm hit with a sudden wave of emotion as realization floods through me.

 

Gone. Vic's gone- No, he's left. He left me, I think to myself. He used me. I was nothing to him.

 

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm walking over to my dresser drawer and pulling out a razor blade buried in the very back.

 

I stopped for him. No, not FOR him, I stopped BECAUSE of him.

 

Because he made things better for me. Because he made me happy for the first time in what felt like forever.

 

Vic wasn't like the people at school. He was nice. He liked me. He helped me get past it, as in my cutting addiction. It was hard, and I craved the feeling of the blade on my skin, but he helped me stop myself.

 

Now here I am, my wrist itchy as I hold the blade in my hand.

 

My scars are healing. They've begun to fade, just the slightest bit, and tears fall down my cheeks as I remember when Vic found out about them and the way he grabbed my arm, and pressed his soft lips to my cuts, old and new, and whispered the words, "I still think you're beautiful," and I cried because he cared.

 

Because, for whatever reason, I meant something to him. And although I didn't think I deserved it, deserved him, it felt good.

 

I snap back to reality, back to my empty bedroom, without Vic here. I don't deny myself what I need this time.

 

Vic left. He's not here to stop me. And even if he were, I wouldn't want him to.

 

I swipe the blade across my skin, watching the beads of blood that begin to well up.

 

Slash.

 

I do another.

 

Oh, how I've missed this. I let out a sigh, enjoying the way my mind focuses on the pain and for a moment, all other thoughts, thoughts of Vic, float away.

 

God, do I love the stinging pain of the first cut. The way the cool blade presses against my skin teasingly, waiting.

 

But don't worry, Vic, you're still the pain I adore the most.

 

Tears stream down my face, and ugly sobs escape my mouth.

 

Slash, slash, slash

 

Blood is everywhere.

 

Red, red, red.

 

Slash, slash, slash.

 

I stop when I reach twenty-five, and stare down in awe at the blood that falls into perfect puddles and threatens to drip onto the floor.

 

My wrist and arm ache in a numb sort of way, and I grip the blade harder and keep going, keep making more and more.

 

 

Forty. Fifty.

 

They trail up to my elbow now. Fresh cuts over old scars. It's been so long since I've done this, I'd almost forgotten how good it would make me feel, just for awhile.

 

I'll feel the shame later. I'll feel embarrassed, and ashamed, and wrong. But right now, I don't think about that, instead I think of how wonderful it feels.

 

I start to feel light headed and my vision goes blurry. I'm not sure if it's from the tears in my eyes, or the blood loss. How much did I cut?

 

I don't even care. I ignore it, and switch arms, marking my right one up.

 

Ten. Twenty.

 

I look down, and see red. So much red. Blood all over my wrists and up my arms. I've done the same amount before, haven't I?

 

I go to walk to the bathroom, but I wobble on my feet, and almost fall over. My sight turns even fuzzier than before, and I feel my legs give out. My head hits the ground, but I barely feel it. The blade falls from my grasp and clatters away.

 

I close my eyes.

 

Suddenly, I hear Vic's words from earlier ringing in my head. The ones that killed me.

 

**_"I don't like you, Kellin. You're such a gullible little shit, aren't you? You thought I cared about you, well guess what, I lied. You're nothing to me. It was fun playing with you. You actually believed I loved you. All those kisses, god, I wanted to puke each time your lips touched mine. Remember, Kells, no one will ever love a suicidal piece of shit like you. Awww, don't cry, I'm sorry. Bye, bye."_ **

 

My mouth opens and my lips move, and I want to say something like fuck you, or I hate you which is probably stupid because Vic's not going to hear me, but I can't lie in my state, and all that comes out is a choked whisper of, "I love you so much, Vic."

 

Then I pass out.


	3. authors note

Hey guys! It's been a while, about six months since I wrote this story?

I said there would be a sequel and I'm actually in the process of writing it right now. Which is why I wanted to say that I'm going to edit the first chapter, and make it better and stuff. There are quite a few mistakes and things I need to add for the sequel to make sense. So pretty much I'm just going to completely 're write it and make it longer/ improved.

Sorry it's taken me so long to write the sequel. I have no excuse except for laziness and summer.


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